Stop with the Guilty Feelings:An Open Opaari!

Boss. What joy do you get from making me feel guilty?

Daily one Sales executive will come to my house, I would’ve seen through that peep-hole and decided to ignore,but he will ring the bell again and again,and call out “saar , mahdaaam!” till I feel guilty and open the door.
Then he will see Im holding a big smartphone and wearing some branded ‘modern‘ clothes and directly assume I dont know tamizh(Sathya-Sodhanai.), and speak to me in one broken English,(after asking if mummy-daddy are home) and tell me how he is from an orphanage and is looking for donations , and ask “whatever you can manage,give thambi, It will be helpful

Here two problems:

If I give means later I’ll feel guilty because probably he is some cheating fellow who used ‘charity’ scheme to scam me and put naamam(\|/) on my forehead.

If I don’t give means ill feel guilty thinking I am one bad person for not giving charity.

Giving Charity directly also is one nightmare. Every time I walk past a beggar,(especially if its a child or one carrying a child) I try my best to avoid confrontation, and it usually works,(maybe because my face and all doesn’t look like I have cash), But if they do target me means that’s all.

Again two problems:

If I don’t give money,I feel guilty for not helping those less privileged than myself,

If i give means i feel guilty for being part of a system that encourages begging, I mean.. for all I know, that money might not be used as intended.

 

Then there are these movies which suffer from an overdose of melancholy.             Basically take any love story, Then give main character some kind of illness and slowly and painfully kill them, There you go: bestselling books and super hit movies. *Cough-FaultInOurStars-Cough*
Don’t get me wrong,I LOVE movies that make you think and feel. Movies that leave a profound effect on you,movies that make a dent. Iraivi and Taare zameen par and many others blew my mind.

But that doesn’t mean you take a story, drown it in sadness by giving people cancer and what not, and then shove it down my throat. Because ultimately sadness wont come out,only Guilt over not feeling genuinely sad.. and maybe a little vomit
If you want to exaggerate means  cool. do that to make people laugh, crack a few lame jokes, roast a few people, tickle some funny bones. but stop forcing us to be sad or guilty da.Enough of that already happening in real life around us.
Happy > sad

Then there is Facebook, more like *Facepalm*.. hahaha! No? ok, leave off.
It is solely responsible for almost half the world populations guilty feelings. How many different type of posts that are aimed at preying on our guilt to gain popularity.
FB Problems:
1.Posts that say : “If you don’t like this post in 7 seconds, your mother will die.”  Dei why you bring my Mummy and all into this. bloody respect will be spoiled,be careful.
And whose ears you are trying to tie flowers?!
2.Posts that say :”Every 2 minutes in Africa, 1 kid is dying.only 1% ppl will share this. share this post if you feel bad for them. 1 like = 1 pray;1 share=1000pray.
Okay man,I am not denying ki people are dying in africa, but how sharing your post will help? And if i don’t want to share means I don’t feel bad a? Cha. bongu-aatam.
3.People who share aforementioned posts. I feel guilty for having befriended you.                       my head-fate.

Two more problems
If people achieve too much means i feel guilty for not being good enough,
If people are going through very dark times means i feel guilty for feeling happy about the good things in my life.

One more -2 problems
If i get good marks means people are saying things like “pch what man, you got nice marks in this test, see i failed,how could you do this?fulla your fault only!” and ill feel guilty.
If i do bad means parents will say”We gave you everything we didn’t get when we were small, this is how you repay us-a?bhagavane!

what kodumai this is, saravana ?

But ofcourse, Making people feel guilty is the super power of old people.
My dad’s trademark scolding usually goes like “ when I was your age, I used to sit under streetlight and study, that time we didn’t have all this luxury, I cycled from Perambur to Thousand lights everyday, I worked two jobs , look at you. Waste-of-Rice you are.”
Ayo Appa, I am not saying you didn’t go through a lot,But you telling all that only makes me feel like anything I do will never measure up on that scale. Immense Respect – I always had for you, but that dialogue only added Guilt to that.
And when you were my age, you didn’t have phone.. now you are playing flappy birds *ting* *ting* -nu in ipad daily no?

Times have changed Appa.

I will also, hopefully, struggle and work hard soon, and do something with my life that You and I are both proud of,(elephant-ku one day means cat-ku also one day no?)
But I need not go through the exact same Journey you did.
Like Thalaivar told- “En vazhi thanni vazhi”.

In reality, Everybody’s route is Different.. but where we want to finally reach is same-same.
Destination-Happiness.

Stop Guilty.Start Party.

P.S: wished my Appa a happy fathers day, he responded with his trademark Vinu chakravarthy style grunt.:’)

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